How I went from a depressed girl to reach out to others & share a spark of hope?

Before I am where I am right now,
Before I love myself more,
Before I value vulnerability,
Before I become open about mental well-being,
Before I’m passionate about self-growth,

There was a girl who…

  • ✔ Desperate for approval from the family.
  • ✔ Hunt success and validation from others.
  • ✔ Feel not good enough inside.
  • ✔ Feel unloved and little bit lonely.
  • ✔ Doubt her capability and potential.
  • ✔ Struggle with label & perception from others.
  • ✔ Have conflicts with her inner self.

Of course, that girl is me.


Hand to handle the pain and downtimes. 

On Going

Still in the process of healing and accepting.

Hey, there! I'm Hajar Abdullah.

Even though I’m known as an extrovert, happy-go-lucky, ambitious and motivated person, I never know that I’ll suffer from depression and anxiety for years.

I’ve been in the dark ocean of thought, I didn’t want to wake up in the morning, I quit my job, I experienced insomnia, lost my appetite, felt numb and wish to die. 

Then, what makes me feel alive again?

I’m so lucky that I came across Jay Shetty’s video while I was in bed. It became a spark of snowball effect that leads to where I’m today. Thanks to my parents and my friends who helped me a lot. 

My journey – I can’t say it’s a smooth ride but I’m so grateful for it. Alhamdulillah. 

I believe that no matter what happens in life, HOPE is matter. Because hope can give you a sense of light, lift up your burden and make you continue your journey with greater belief. Everything will be okay and great things will come to you. 

If you suffer from depression and anxiety, that’s okay. If you face downtime, that’s okay. If you struggle with something, that’s okay. If you are not okay, that’s okay. If you don’t know what to do, that’s okay. If you are afraid, that’s okay. 

Your problem is real, your feeling is valid. 

It’s okay you have pain, all the negative and seem ‘bad’ sides. Just that, it’s not okay for you to stay that way for a long time and it crushes you.

Thus, I hope my writing becomes a pill to enlighten your soul and bring an impact on your growth in life.

Let's connecting. You can reach out to me here.